You would think that after 22 years of knowing God, going to church, and being around encouraging people, I'd always feel pretty secure as a person. But I sometimes struggle with the lie that, despite my rich theological environment/heritage, I must be a disappointment to God.
This lie bleeps loudest when I consider my less-than-holy dealings with other people - particularly knee-high people who scream when they don't get their way and can't even get themselves a glass of water without help.
Now, the Bible has a TON to counteract the lie. I have a scriptural crush on Hebrews and am reading through it at the moment. There's so much truth in there about how my debt has been paid "Once for All" and how Jesus is able to save forever those who draw near to Him through faith because He always lives to intercede for them. There's even an Old Testament quote in there where God talks about how, in the New Covenant, He will remember people's sins no more.
"Yep, yep, yep. True, true, true" as E.B. White's Goose said. But sometimes it's my heart that needs reminding - not my head.
And who does God use to give me these reminders? See aforementioned knee-high others.
About a month ago, Selah learned how to brush my hair without threatening my roots. I LOVE having my hair brushed. And lately, she's adopted a particularly endearing habit of informing me of my truest identity while she combs through my fine, graying tresses: "Mommy, you're a princess!"
Another time, I shoved my to-do list aside and just let Caleb lay on me while I sat on the couch. He was touching and chewing stuff and just being a happy baby when it hit me - I'm delighting in this kid. He's not producing a product. He's not having a deep conversation. Heck, he's not even being particularly clean or neat. He's just being. Being happy. Being happy in my presence. Being happy in my presence, and being close enough to nuzzle.
I literally teared up thinking about that.
Yay for heart reminders!